protection

so lately i have been feeling like i have been staring down the barrel of a gun, just waiting for destruction and death to come. satan has been holding the gun at me. and i've responded with fear, and trembling and weakness, completely forgetting who is walking through this desert with me. so my jesus, being completely perfect and amazing, led me to deuteronomy 2 tonight and what i read just blew my mind yet again & i hope, reader, that this brings you much comfort as well.

jesus was very direct and blunt with me tonight, which i love because frankly, he loves for me to trust and go out on a limb for him most of the time. but tonight, he knew i really needed to hear something right away. in chapter two, moses is still giving a recap of what the israelites had gone through during their time in the wilderness. verse 7 caught my eye: "for the LORD your God has blessed you in everything you have done. He has watched your every step through this great wilderness. during these forty years, the LORD your God has been with you, and you have lacked nothing." wow. it's simply amazing to me that that same YHWH is with me TODAY ... it's amazing peace to me. jesus was like, "sarah, you have been so blessed by me and you miss it ... a lot. you look past my blessing and see only what you don't have which honestly are things you DON'T need otherwise i would have provided them for you. i am and always with be watching and praying and supporting you as you go through life. nothing is unseen by me. i care about every little detail. you tend to forgot i am ALWAYS with you & it breaks my heart because i love you. the next time you feel frustrated by something you don't have, remember ... you lack nothing. you have enough in me. i will satisfy you." he is crazy ... haha. that's just how i see it. but i love him for it.

the rest of the chapter god used still for me. moses goes on to recap how every time a hostile group was going to cross paths with the israelites, god warned them before hand and led them through it. and THEN ... he even purposefully put the Amorites before the israelites and told them that he would hand them over to them. "but king sihon of heshbon refused to allow us to pass through, because the LORD your God made sihon stubborn and defiant so he could help you defeat them (v30). do you get that? god put a huge scary army and situation in the israelites way just so that he could show them he had it covered ... he would defeat the king, the towns, all men, women, and children just to show them he could do it. wow.

that's my god. he is with me in my desert. so really ... why do i complain? i have no reason whatsoever to be complaining or worrying. i have everything that i need and i have a god who will and can fight of giants because he loves me.